whatever

so I have to find a job soon and I really don't wanna do that, I finally thinking about my future and life, I remember one night when I hang out with my sista and I cried him like I have no future~~ or something like that(think I made him troubled a lot but it's okay). I haven't mentioned yet but I went to London at the beginning of this month with my boy and I fell in love with that beautiful, exciting city I have never been to there before tho. but I surely felt like I have been there or lived there before, I mean I felt the city very familiar. I stayed there only for a week and that was not enough to go around everywhere or to see every friends there. so well this writing seems messy but I want to say is that I wanna live there for a while, it seems like I am trying to escape from this reality that I have to do a job hunting and have to get all the credits in school and graduate, fuck them all. argh how boring this far east small island is, I sometimes feel that I love Tokyo, but I hate the way people behave here, they are kind, gentle and quiet. very quiet, shy, and boring maybe like me? but the funny thing is that I am only shy when I am speaking Japanese or with Japanese people. When I am with my friends from Britain or Paris or whatever, I think I am quite the opposite. I think this weird language makes me shy and boring. well anyway, now I don't like being in Japan and the way people(including me) hang out at night or weekends, they just go to izakaya and drink, smoke, talk and then go home straight. they don't break the fences with their skateboards and jump into the pool. ahh i miss my high school life, my high school life was more closer to it than right now. now I just walk for 3mins to the classroom every morning and then go home straight or go to work, EVERYDAAAAAY is like this ohhhohhh. when I called my mom and talked this stuff she said that I have to imagine my life or myself being doing what I want to do. she said that all the things will come true if I imagine strongly all the time. she's kinda spiritual and sometimes say weird things but she's right eventually, all the time. okay so I am going to follow her. I am going  to imagine my life since after I finish this can of beer. bye.
ah I think some of my writing classmates can read this secret shitty blog which nobody read because I  had  to make a blog with blogger in that  class but I don't really care about it. bye bye

↓These are the songs I listened a lot when I was in London(genres are super random I dunno why)↓